It almost seems as if whenever life is going pretty good: I feel blessed, I’m in a space of being motivated and ready to take a step forward into greater things. That’s when the resistance comes. For me, it looks like am emotional down spiral. I feel it. In small nuances I notice things, and I begin to feel things and then believe them. These feelings turn to thoughts like: I am uninvited, left out, unwanted, or overlooked. And, at some point, the feelings hit so hard, I just want to wallow in self pity. I honestly want to run away and say, “Look, you didn’t embrace me, so now you’ve lost me.” I am faced with the temptation to run away from the one thing that is my purpose and catalyst in all my aspirations- community.
These feelings can just feel like life. These feelings cause us to give up so often, to keep searching for the right people, or to keep making what we have not enough. But, I can feel the real growth happening in me when: I recognize this is resistance and my feelings are only lies trying to keep me from stepping forward into spaces that my feelings have kept me back from in the past. This resistance wants to hold me back. But, it doesn’t have to. If I recognize it for what it is- evil trying to wreck my good- then I can point my finger in it’s face and tell it that it has no power over me. If I ever want to step any further than I currently am in life, then I must do it this!
Recognizing resistance in your life is an opportunity for you to learn how to resist your feelings and press into growth and truth.
Thats when I know, this is a turning point. This is the opportunity for growth. How can we grow without resistance- honestly?. And so, I have two choices: I can spend this time wallowing in pain and isolating myself. Or, I can push, push, puuuush. I can make a decision to not let those thoughts control my heart. To not let other people’s actions dictate mine. To not let other people set the bar for who I am going to be, but to set the bar- for the sake of my own heart, for the sake of being true to the best self I can be.
I’m beginning to see that this is the painful birth of true maturity; the call to living in obedience to truth, and not being set back over and over by our emotions. This is the process of becoming a leader. Because, it starts with leading yourself; guiding your heart and not letting it guide you.
What pulls you back when you could step forward? Don’t let it rule you. Dominating the small thoughts that usually dominate you is your next step to living your fullest life- the one living on the other side of overcoming.